Hang on, hang on, hang on – stop the press. The title of this post should really be “I believed in me and everything changed”.
By the time we get to the end of the month, I would’ve worked around 200 hours. More than I used to work in my previous office job.
Running a business from home has great advantages like being able to be there for anything the kids need, setting my own work hours, selecting the type of work I want to do. Freedom. I am my own boss and I call the shots.
But this is also a huge downside. I call the shots. If something goes pearshaped it’s my fault. And while I have a couple of friends in similar lines of work and we bounce ideas and problems off one another regularly, I am still the only one responsible for where my business is at currently and where it goes.
Because work and life, in general, have been so busy I don’t always get time for my guilty little pleasure – writing my own work. I carry a notebook of words and ideas and thoughts and poems and lyrics that pop into my head but right now I don’t have a lot of time to do anything with them.
I originally started writing this post about 2 weeks ago and it was going to be a thank you post, acknowledging the work and belief my business coach/friend had in me. Somewhere in that 2 weeks though I decided to change the direction of the post. Because everything changed when I started believing in myself.
Yes, he (let’s call him coach from here on in) pulled me out of a very bad space I was in mentally and lifted my self-esteem when I needed it the most but it’s me doing all this work. It’s me putting in the hours. So I really should be thanking myself and acknowledging myself.
Running a business from home carries just as much guilt as working outside of the home. My house is a mess – even though I’m always home. We eat takeaway far too often – even though I’m always home. And my current and biggest guilt is whether or not to put my 2-year-old in childcare a few days a week – even though I’m always home. There is still the constant juggling act to get the balance just right. Yes, I might head to the park with my kids on a nice day but I’m also staying up way past midnight almost every night working – balance!
Career-wise, I’ve always been fairly successful and good at what I put my mind to. I’m one of these people who are “textbook smart”. I can learn just about anything and I’m a hard worker. When it comes to social situations I’m absolutely hopeless but give me a puzzle to solve or a quiz to play and I’m genius – well, almost. This means I’ve always been relatively successful in any job I’ve done. I managed to get a good Government job straight after graduating high school which enabled me to study while still getting paid. Because I started in the job when I was 17 years old I was still really young when my long service leave kicked in and this allowed me to travel around Australia. I was promoted and changed roles a few times but stayed in government until I resigned about a year ago.
Government was my adult security blanket.
But it was also one of my biggest regrets in life. I had stayed within the security of a Government job – a job for life and I never took a chance on myself. I had big dreams of working for myself from a very young age. Of building a career around doing something that I loved – I just wasn’t sure what I loved. The government job allowed me to study things like accounting, business management and IT – all things that I loved – I know, number 1 nerd right here!!! But once I completed the studies I never did anything with it because I was too scared to leave the security. As kids came along and then a mortgage I gave up on the dream of doing something more. The government job was no longer a nice security blanket, it was a necessity.
Then my whole world fell apart and I decided I didn’t ever want to live with regret.
I’ve always enjoyed writing and have regularly throughout my life written. From diaries kept as a teenager to penpals from over the world, letters written for my kids when they’re older, holiday stories, Social media posts, poems, lyrics – whatever. I’ve always had a lot of thoughts in my head and writing them out clears my mind.
Publishing work on my blog began from a coincidental meeting with someone who saw my internal pain and set me up with a method of releasing it. And it became therapy for me. If I didn’t have this blog while I was in the battlefield of divorce, I’m not sure how I would have made it through.
There is great comfort in connecting with others through written words.
I guess that’s why I love music so much – it’s not so much the noise of music but the words I connect with and the fact that someone had similar thoughts and feelings to me and was able to express them so beautifully.
Anyway, I’ve digressed. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to write something for myself, there’s a lot to get out!!!
Business is booming and I couldn’t be happier. A large part of my business is writing content for other people so the fact that I’m now getting paid to write really is a dream come true. Never mind the fact that my first few articles were on sewage, gas pipes and accounting software. The fact is I’m getting paid to do something I love and I know many people never get this opportunity. I’ve found my passion.
I nearly gave it all away though. I’ve talked before on the blog about the time I nearly walked away from the blog and at the same time I nearly gave up my business as well.
It came on the back of months trying to help a friend save his business. This ended badly and I just didn’t have the motivation or energy to keep working for myself, by myself. Until recently, I carried immense guilt of not being able to help more but letting go of that guilt made me see that it wasn’t about me. No matter what I did nothing was going to save his business. He was in a very bad place in life mentally and his business was never going to survive.
Around 2 and a half years ago under the most bizarre circumstances, I met Coach. He coached me in the early days of this blog trying to get opportunities for me to generate an income as well as sticking to my passion for writing. He showed me the ropes and I learned a lot from him.
And this is who I was going to thank in this post. This is who has been guiding me and helping me get my business back on track.
Recently, right when I needed a breath of fresh air to come in and believe in me, he did. When I needed someone to remind me why I started and where I was headed, he did.
I’m not sure what role the universe played here either. Prior to this, we hadn’t spoken for about a year. Then out of the blue, we ran into each other at a petrol station.
And it’s purely just a business friendship. There’s nothing more to it. Someone who saw I had potential and who wouldn’t let me give up. Someone who reminded me of my worth, someone who believed in me and someone who pushed me to keep going.
Business-wise I am fairly confident and sure of my decisions. I just needed someone to remind me of that. Watching a friend lose a business shook me. It made me see how quickly everything can be lost if you don’t put in the work.
My confidence in my business is high and this is showing in the work I’m producing. And out of the 200 hours, I’ll end up working this month – not one of those hours felt like work.
I guess the point of this post is to never let self-doubt take over. If you have a dream, go for it. There will never be a perfect time to make a big career switch. You’ll always find a reason not to make the change. But go for it! Do it! Even if you work on setting something up while still working in your “day job”. To follow your dreams takes hard work and determination. Trust me though, the joy you feel doing something you truly have a passion for is so much greater than any wage you will get from a job you’re not 100% happy in.
Many of my clients are doing just that – believing in themselves. Taking a chance on them and I absolutely love working with them and helping them reach their goals.
Don’t live with regret. Whatever your dream is take the leap – I believe in you and I promise you, it is so, so worth it.
If I can do it, anyone can!
Kirsty is the founder of That Noise Is Mine.
An established blogger, writer and business owner raising 4 children independently. Kirsty is determined to succeed in this new life forced upon her.