You and I.
You sleep in your own room now, you handled the transition so well. I miss not sleeping so close to you though.
It’s the first time in 5 years I haven’t had a baby in my room.
On one hand, I miss it, on the other, I relish having my own space in my home. It’s where I retreat to replenish my soul.
Our day starts early this morning. It’s almost like you know it’s a busy morning for me. The older 2 boys are at school and Mr 4 is at kindy meaning there are 3 lunches to make and 3 kids to get ready.
You always patiently wait your turn while I rush around getting the others ready.
We head to school and drop the boys off.
You love walking into Kindy and sit down and play while I settle Mr 4 in. I know you’re just itching to get to Kindy yourself but you still have another 2 years to wait.
2 years I’m going to cherish. 2 years of just you and I.
We head home. We detour via the coffee shop. The early morning start together with “payday” means we treat ourselves to a coffee and apple juice respectively.
At home I drink my coffee, your apple juice is long gone – you drank half and tipped half all over yourself in the car.
It’s a hot day so while I’m changing you I decide to leave your clothes off and we go outside to play at your water table.
You love your water table.
It was a spur of the moment purchase for Christmas. I really wasn’t sure what else to get you because you have so many hand me down toys.
Today, we’re just filling it with water. I hang out some washing and while my back is turned you stack a stool and a ride on bike inside the table and climb on it. How did you do that in 5 seconds!!!!
I get you down and go back to my washing.
“Look at me Mum” you yell.
I turn around and you’re right back there.
This continues 5 or 6 times before I take the stool and bike and put them in the shed.
You then sit in the water table and splash around like it’s a bath.
You play happily for a long time. You love it when it’s just you and I.
As the day heats up we go inside, I get you dressed and we decide to make Play Dough.
I tip the flour and salt in the bowl.
You splash your hands around and flour is flying everywhere.
I tip the water, oil and food colouring in.
We both squish our hands through the dough.
Once it’s formed, I set you up at the table with a rolling pin and cutters. Thinking this will keep you busy while I clean up the flour I go to the laundry to get some cleaning supplies.
I come back to find you have tipped an entire bottle of yellow food colouring all over yourself and the floor.
*deep calming breathe* I take the bottle from you and set you back at the table to play while I clean the new mess.
I go to the laundry to get some cleaning supplies.
I come back to find you have tipped an entire bottle of olive oil on the floor.
Struggling to remain calm I pick you up and place you in your cot with a book to read. You yell “Mummy, mummy” as I leave your room to clean up not understanding that Mummy needed a break and 5 minutes to clean up the mess without a new mess being made.
Once I’ve cleaned up I get you from your cot, the spilt food colouring and olive oil are forgotten about and we sit at the table and play with the play dough. You’re still learning the concept of sharing but I’m content with just watching you play.
We have lunch and then it’s time to settle for a nap.
You still breastfeed at naptime and night time. These are my favourite moments as I know they’re not going to last much longer.
So I turn everything off and just focus on you. Once you are asleep I hold you a little longer again knowing that this is so very quickly going to end. I put you in your cot and leave the room.
As I sit down with a coffee to start work I flick through the photos we took of our morning. We are both so lucky. You, because you’re the only one of the 4 that gets this one on one time with me. And me, because you’re the only one of the 4 who I get this one on one time with me. Everyone else has to share time.
You are my last baby, the youngest of 4 but sometimes I feel like a first time Mum with you. I’ve done it alone with you since before you were even born. There’s never been that other person to call on for reassurance. I’ve had to trust my own judgement and it’s been a learning curve at times.
What might seem like a mundane day to some are the best days of my life. I love every moment I get to spend with all the children but sometimes, these moments, when it’s just you and I. The moments where I can sit and soak in the wonder of watching something you’ve created grow and explore. These are my favourite moments.
Kirsty is the founder of That Noise Is Mine.
An established blogger, writer and business owner raising 4 children independently. Kirsty is determined to succeed in this new life forced upon her.