I am their safe place.
I am the one they turn to when they are completely overwhelmed with the world. I have this magic power of being able to solve anything sometimes just by being there. My kisses heal ouchies. My hugs bring calm. My home is their haven, it’s where there is routine, and they know what to expect. They know that they’ll do chores, they know that during nap time they must find quiet activities. They know there’s no endless electronics, sugary treats and it’s not always fun. But that’s where they find their comfort.
If they need the confidence to do something new, one look back at me can give them that. How lucky am I!!
I don’t see how I do it or where this power comes from and sometimes it can be overwhelming for me especially on the days when I’m just hanging on myself. But to know I can calm any storm only by being there is nice.
Being their safe place is not always bright and sunny. Being a safe place also means tears, tantrums and anger. It means hearing the thoughts of my 12-year-old son and shuddering at the thought of the years to come. It means sometimes being hit, bitten or have hair pulled – all done out of frustration but also love.
If my boys need me, I am there. Even on my weekends “off”. If they need to return to the safe place they can, there are no amounts of dates, sleep-ins, nights out, days out or “prior engagements” that will ever come before them. Because at the end of the day, when they need calm, routine and comfort – it’s me they need. Just me and the environment I’ve created for them. When they want a drink of milk to ease big emotions, I know what cup to put it in. When they’ve been scared in the shower, I know which PJ’s they need to be dressed in to calm them, and when they need to rest I know a lay down in Mum’s bed will solve every problem.
And while being the safe place for four different souls means there is very little time for me. It means my coffee is always cold, my meals don’t always get eaten, and my sleep is often interrupted. It also means my lap always has a child in it, there’s always a warm hand that needs to be held, a cuddle to be given or a high 5 in the schoolyard and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
I say this a lot but this time with them is so short, it goes by so quickly but at the end of the day, no matter how old they are I hope I will always be their safe place.
Kirsty is the founder of That Noise Is Mine.
An established blogger, writer and business owner raising 4 children independently. Kirsty is determined to succeed in this new life forced upon her.