There is a beautiful country song by Jessica Andrews called “Who I Am”. It speaks of knowing who she is, where she comes from and where she wants to go.
I am a mother to a beautiful soul. He makes me smile, laugh and of course, scream. You see, he is special needs. In caring for him, working, and saving for our first home, I forgot to care for me.
The past two months have been ones of introspection. I am blessed with a husband that knows me inside and out. When I struggle to find “me” in things, he is right there to remind me, “Rosanna, what about you?”
What about me? What is my chosen path? When do I see the end?
I went to school and studied Forensic Anthropology. Now I am a customer service manager at Walmart. In my mind, I feel as though I failed in the career aspect of life. However, working at Walmart, I am the happiest I have ever been.
After giving birth to my son, even looking at drool makes me sick. With this consideration, the world of forensics had to be paid a final goodbye. The love for this path will always be there. I read reports and articles still. Also one of the guys I LARP (live action role play) with is an archaeologist and so we have grand conversations.
Still, the question remains, just who am I?
Let’s do an activity that I loved doing in grade school.
Reluctant- When it comes to new things, I need to research, pray and use my husband as a sound board.
Observant-I use my observation skills to be helpful to my fellows. I was actually told I am too observant sometimes. Not sure what that means, but it is one more thing to learn about myself.
Spiritual- I am a Latter Day Saint. It is my beliefs that shape me and make me…me. It also helps me for what I see and deal with as a volunteer firefighter.
Appreciative- Growing up, we didn’t have much. What we did have, we loved and were thankful for.
Nurturing- I tend to mother people. Even if I don’t know you, prepare to be looked after. Also, hugs are my thing.
Nerdy- Our wedding march was “Darth Vader’s theme” and I LARP. Enough said.
Abnormal- Mom used to always tell me “Rosanna, stop saying you are weird, you are unique”. In my head, that’s the same thing.
That was fun. I challenge you to do this and to periodically write down your blessings or what you are grateful for.
In conclusion, who am I? I am:
I am Rosanna Hay,31 from Canada. I am a mother, step-mother and wife. I am a sister, aunt and friend. When you need a hand, I will be there for you. If I can’t do it myself, I will find someone that will. I may not have a 9-5 career, but I am happy. I can provide for my family and save for a house. ( three more months and we can go for a mortgage)
That paragraph may not seem like much. In seven sentences, I summed up who I think I am. I still get down sometimes (I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression), but who doesn’t. I am starting to love me again. That in itself is a great accomplishment. (typing this while listening to the Moana soundtrack is very powerful)
Who am I?
I am beautiful, strong, valiant……
My name is Rosanna and I am a mom and wife writing about the struggles of getting a diagnosis for my son and saving for a house. I am also a Bullet Journalist and write about ways I use it to help my family.