Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have choices. Each choice requires strength to make a decision. Sometimes you choose to walk away and sometimes you might choose to stay and be strong.
Strong is not ever a word I would use to describe myself. I have been through certain events which has taken strength and courage to survive but I would never say I survived them because I was a strong person. I survived because I had to.
I am not a strong person because of these events. I wear my heart on my sleeve and act too much through my heart rather than my brain to be strong. At least, that’s what I think.
Sometimes in life, you have to be strong for someone else but how do you do that when you are just surviving yourself?
There’s only so much you can do to help someone you care about and sometimes, for your own good, you have to take a step back. All the love, compassion and understanding in the world can only go so
far,because ultimately you can’t take someone’s pain away… I wish you could but it’s just not possible. The best you can do is let them know that you care and keep enough of an emotional connection that they can reach out to you when they need you – but not so close that you risk getting dragged under with them… Because someone like that is going to need your strength, so don’t absorb so much of their sadness that you can no longer be of help… Taking on somebody else’s sadness doesn’t take it away from them; it just adds a burden to you and weighs you down. Love them, care for them, listen to them, be there for them… but always take time for yourself to clear your mind and reflect on the positives in your life to put things back in perspective. Don’t feel guilty – it’s not selfish or uncaring to put their problems aside for a while… it doesn’t mean you love them any less… It is simply you taking time to reset yourself so you can maintain your positivity and your strength to support them better. You’re not invulnerable; especially when it comes to someone you care about, so remember to step back a little when it’s getting too much… after all, you can’t save someone who’s drowning if you’re not strong enough to swim……. RanataSuzuki
Maybe to be strong for someone else you really DO have to take a step back. To be a strong Mum for my kids I need to take time out to replenish myself so I guess the same thing is true for anything else.
We are all so much stronger than we think and sometimes you find strength where you least expect it. Yes, I’ve survived a lot, it’s given me some unhealthy baggage but has also given me coping strategies. I have been in a situation recently where I’ve found some strength that I didn’t know I had.
It’s the kind of strength that makes me want to love and see what happens. I don’t know if I can love someone (other than my children) unconditionally. I want to. I want to love without expectation.
Don’t ever doubt your own strength. Strength is not someone roaring with power. Sometimes strength is a tiny little voice that says “you’ve got this, keep going”. You’re awake, you’re breathing – it’s a rather morbid thought but there are some people who couldn’t face doing that today.
But you did.
You’ve also read down to here of this post, some people didn’t.
You’re on your phone or computer connecting with something – whether it be others via Social Media, my words, someone else words – you’re doing it. For some people, that was too much today. But not for you.
You’ve put one foot in front of the other and that there is your strength today. Tomorrow it might be something different.
Your strength to get through this is there. I can see it, even if you can’t x
Kirsty is the founder of That Noise Is Mine.
An established blogger, writer and business owner raising 4 children independently. Kirsty is determined to succeed in this new life forced upon her.