The Decade of Us


I can’t believe it, how on earth did we get to 2020. The year 2000 was 20 years ago. 20. YEARS. AGO.


I don’t know about you but the last two decades have been ….. weird. Maybe because it’s during those decades, I am now classed as a “grown-up”, and therefore life becomes more real. I don’t know.

The naughties for me was all about smashing goals and achieving all these things I wanted to achieve and getting all these things I wanted to acquire. It was about “stuff”.

Early in that particular decade, I decided I wanted to change career paths, so I studied a little and BAM achieved my dream job in IT.

I then thought it was about time I settled down so BAM I met a man – albeit the wrong one but, hey, you live, and you learn, and we settled down.

Next, I became a Mum. Becoming a Mum, wasn’t on my plan and I really think that’s the reason why it’s worked out so well. It is one of the most rewarding experiences I never planned to have.

Then everyone else was getting married. So when I found myself at dinner at a fancy restaurant with my then-boyfriend and father of my child down on one knee with a ring in his hand, of course, I said Yes. It was the next step in life. Even if I was a little confused because up until that point he told me almost daily how he never wanted to get married (hello, red flag – yep, hindsight is a GREAT thing sometimes ;-))

Along came the expensive and extravagant wedding. Look, it was a great party. We were on a boat, there were a lot of stairs and A LOT of alcohol consumed. There were many, many stories to be told about that night. Including my much older work colleague who became so plastered only an hour into the reception that she fell down some stairs and vomited on the floor. ONE hour into the reception! #GoodTimes.

Buying a house was next and BAM that happened relatively quickly as well.

Everything was falling into place and I walked out of the naughties and into 2010 a married homeowner who was pregnant with baby number 2.

I projected an image to friends and family that life could not be better. But behind closed doors, things were very different.

The twenty-tens started off great. In July 2010, I became a Mum for the 2nd time, welcoming another little boy.

The wheels fell off my plan a little when I had to return to work just 12 weeks later to support the family financially. This is where resentment started creeping in. I wanted to be a Mum and I couldn’t, and I began to dislike my husband because of it. He could never see how important it was to me. He still can’t.

Nevertheless, we persisted, and in early 2012 we were pregnant for the 3rd time.

And, this is pretty much where everything went pearshaped.

Unfortunately, we lost that baby during pregnancy.

Not long after, my husband began to wander, and infidelity began creeping into our marriage.

Another baby was going to magically fix things. It didn’t.

A family holiday was going to fix things. It didn’t.

Fast-forward 4 years and it all ended spectacularly, and I was suddenly a pregnant single Mum with 3 other kids.

The marriage was over.

I lost the house.

And made a decision to quit the dream job to focus on my young children.

Everything I’d spent the last 10-15 years working for was gone. And it was then I began a soul searching journey.

Connecting with another lost and wounded soul was my biggest mistake post-divorce. That mistake deserves no real estate on these pages so let’s skip straight to mid-2019 where I found myself broken and flabbergasted at how ruthless humans can be.

I’d lost faith in the human race. People were shit! Damaged people were shit! And I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I retreated from the world, keeping my circle very small.

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know, I found the strength to pull myself out of that mindset. And this is where I discovered myself and everything important to me.

I needed to care for myself, so I could be the best possible mother to my children. I needed to love myself before I thought of loving anyone else.

I needed to discover who I was, who Kirsty was. Without kids. Without a man. Who am I?

This was intense, but, my god, it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

So, here we are, the roaring twenties and I’m in the best possible headspace.

The naughties were a time to “do stuff”, the twenty-tens was the decade of discovering that “stuff” means sweet fuck all, and now the roaring twenties – well my friends…….

The roaring twenties is the decade of us. This unique group of women, who found themselves in dead-end marriages, who spent time raising children, recovering and finding ourselves …..


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