Losing Me

The other day I was out and about, and someone who knew me saw me and called out my name.

Here is how I responded:

Compared to how I react to a child calling out Mum in public:

On the drive home I started thinking about how rare it is for someone to call me by my name.  I’m always Mum or someone’s Mum. I don’t live with any other adults, and on a daily basis, the only other adults I see wouldn’t know me by name.

My business runs predominantly online, and it’s rare for me to speak to my clients.  I communicate with my clients via email.

It is easy for a woman to lose herself when she becomes a Mum, and that is what this post was going to be about – how not to lose yourself in motherhood. So I started researching the topic.

But what happens if you want to lose yourself in motherhood?

I think I’m OK with being lost in motherhood. I’m OK with not recognising my name when someone calls me.

You see our children are only young once.  Everyone tells you this when you have children and when you’re knee deep in life it’s hard to believe it. But time REALLY does go by too quickly.

While legally we are responsible for our children until they become 18, the reality is we start losing them around the age of 10.  They want to become more independent, they want to spend more time with their friends, they don’t want you in the schoolyard anymore.

So, is there anything wrong with being so lost in motherhood and your children until they don’t need you as much?

Being a Mum is my number one priority, nothing matters to me more.  My kids regardless of their age will always come first. And when they are old enough to branch out on their own everything else I am currently missing out on will still be there.

There will be jobs to work.

There will be money to make.

There will be hobbies to take up.

There will be friends.

There will be lovers.

My kids won’t be there so often though. They’ll be off enjoying their own lives, and I’ll be happily watching from the sidelines.

So, for now, I am content with being lost.  I love making school lunches, doing school runs, playing with craft, getting up to the middle of the night wake up calls, with endless hugs and kisses. I am happy not to have a moment to myself.  I am pleased that I don’t recognise myself or my name. This crazy busy life with young kids all ends really, really quickly and when it does, I’ll find myself then.

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