So, here we are again B1, another year older. This time last year I was struggling with you turning 10 but today I am embracing you turning 11. I am so excited for what you have to come over the next year.
This time next year you will have graduated from Junior School and be getting ready to head to Middle School. Your year ahead is going to be so exciting and full of so many “lasts” and “firsts”.
Last year I was worried I was going to lose you. You didn’t understand the steps I had taken and blamed me for breaking up our family. This year you know more, probably more than I’d like you to know. You are starting to see peoples true colours and see the reasons why your father and I are no longer together. This has brought us closer than ever.
I would never had expected you to ever be the one to take care of me. Not that I need taking care of by my son, I’m here to take care of you. When we were chatting about what you wanted to do when you grow up, you asked me what is the highest paying job so that you could buy me a house. I then realised that maybe you’re not going to be the one to dump me on the curb of the nursing home, lol.
You are my little music buddy. I love the time we spend listening to music together. I love that you appreciate my love for 90s music, even though most of the time you don’t realise the music I play you is nearly 30 years old! But you are also developing your own tastes. Kanye West ….. Hmmm ……. We’ll work on it 🙂 You are getting a guitar for your birthday. You’ve talked about this guitar for months and months now. I can’t wait to see what you do with it. I know you have the dedication to stick with it and will be here to support you and keep you on track.
Over the past year I’ve learned to turn a blind eye to a few things, such as your use of swear words. Not because I like it when you swear. There are so many other bigger things at age 11 that I need to pull you up on and swearing seems so insignificant.
You are still learning about respect. Not just respect for women but respect for everyone in general. There are certain things you do and certain things you say that are just like your father. Yes, I pull you up on this but only because I want you to be a better man than your father. Yes, he is still your hero and so he should be but I’d like to think even he’d want you to be a better man than him.
Empathy is something you learned about this year in the weirdest way. A trip to our local fish market and a lonely Tommy Ruff fish sitting in a display cabinet waiting to be sold was what broke you. The weirdest thing but my heart also broke when you explained how sad you felt because this poor little fish was alone. This also made you realise where some of our food comes from and has turned you almost vegetarian. I am so very proud and amazed that you are thinking about these things and making some decisions for yourself.
Mostly over the past year I am so proud of how you have matured. We had a very rough start to the year. Now as I sit here writing this on your 11th birthday I can see how far you’ve come. The decisions you make now are different. The son who told me last year that he didn’t like me sometimes now loves me unconditionally. You are now becoming a friend as well as a son.
Happy Birthday B1. I hope you fly and soar in the year ahead. I’ll be right here, your number 1 supporter, crying tears of joy of just how proud I am.
Love Mum xx
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