A little rambling on a Saturday night

This past week has been an interesting one.  Things came to a head with my friend who is battling a mental illness and this has left me feeling numb and emotionally tired.  Too numb to even write or talk about it.

This weekend the older boys are with their father.  It’s just me and the baby.  Wanting to keep my mind off the week that was, I called every friend both local and far away to see if anyone was free.  As is so often the case these days, everyone was busy.

So I resigned myself to a quiet weekend at home. I decided to set up my new office/study area.  I am writing this post on my new desk.  I love it, I love the whole space.  There’s still a few finishing touches to be made, then I’ll post some photos.  This is a sneak peak – rose gold and marble look!! Pretty swish 🙂

I’m thinking of getting a few canvases done of the different logos I’ve had since I started this blog 8 months ago to put up on the wall.  To see the evolution of That Noise is Mine.  There’s still much more evolving to do and I’m so excited about where I want to head with this.

After building the furniture and after dinner I am feeling pretty tired.  The baby is teething.  He got 3 teeth last week and 1 this week so sleep has been at a minimum.  I was thinking about having an early night, catch up on some sleep and forget about the craziness of the week.

But first I headed to the shops to get some chocolate – chocolate always makes you feel better, right?  Well, that and alcohol but with the baby being so restless and me still breast feeding, alcohol was out of the question tonight.

I pulled into the car park.  I have a big SUV now, I love it.  I can look down on other cars, literally.  On getting out of the car there was a little hatch back parked next to me and a man was getting out.  For some reason, I’m not sure why, I glanced into the passengers side window of this car, his belongings caught my eye.  Pillow, quilt, a few boxes.  Oh my goodness, this poor man was living in his car.

He walked into the shops before me.  I saw him looking around the aisles and I then saw him approach the counter.  The shop was also a bakery.  He asked if they had any stale loaves of bread he could have.  My heart sank.  Nothing breaks my heart more than homelessness.  I could not imagine ever being in that position.  The loneliness, the hours on end to contemplate your situation.

How did this man end up in this position.  What a heartbreaking decision it must be to walk away from your home.

Even my friend with the mental illness, in the end he lost his job and wasn’t paying rent so was about to lose his house but he still had a few different options for housing.

How does a person end up with nothing.

Seeing this man made me think of something that happened earlier in the week.  A very proud Mumma moment.  There’s a homeless man who sits out the front of our local shopping centre.  B2 and I were going in there to get some afternoon tea.  Just after we paid for our food he asked for his.  I thought he must have been hungry but he says to me “Mum, would it be okay if I gave my afternoon tea to that man over there, he looks hungry”. I couldn’t talk because I would’ve just burst into tears, I just handed B2 the entire bag of groceries we just bought and he walked over and put them gently in front of the man.  He’s a such a good kid –  a very sensitive soul.

I don’t have much myself but this week there weren’t many bills so I had a little spare cash and was able to offer to pay for some food for the man in the shop tonight.

It feels good to be able to help someone out, to pay forward after so many people reached out to me earlier this year when I was in a difficult position.

But I still feel sad.  Sad for the man at the shops.  Sad for the week that has passed.  Sad that my house is silent and not filled with laughter and noise and mess tonight.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I might start the day with a walk.  I love walking in the crisp cold winter air, the baby loves being in the carrier to keep warm. Just keep walking until my mind is clear again and ready for the week ahead.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend x

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