A glimmer of happiness

Over the past 8 months, I’ve wondered many times if I’d ever be happy again.  Not happy in the sense of finding a partner and settling down again.  But just a typical day to day happiness.  To not feel the weight of everything on me, to feel relaxed. To have fun.

Today the boys and I took a spur of the moment road trip to a beautiful remote coastal location.  We are fortunate in the sense that within a 2-hour drive in any direction from our home, we have beautiful places to visit.  It makes getting out for the day very easy.  But we rarely do it.  You see, going out with 4 children is a bit of a circus, and we attract a lot of attention.  It’s also challenging to find activities for the different ages of the children (3 months to 10 years).

So we headed off to this coastal location which also had a water park.  Ordinarily, the thought of taking 4 children to a water park would scare the crap out of me, but this water park only had slides and a “big bucket”.  There were no pools to worry about, it wasn’t huge, and I thought it would appeal to the 3 older children.

The drive was fun.  We listened to music, we sang, we laughed, we talked.

RELATED READING: Music soothes my soul

At the water park, we rode on water slides, ran, played and had fun.  For some reason, everything fell into place.

We took a break from the water park to visit various old mines and engine houses from the 1800s which were located just outside of town.  Much to my surprise, there was no complaining.  The boys loved it.

There was also the kindness of strangers that made our day that little more relaxed.  The lady at the water park who held B4 while I got B3 dressed.  The hotel where we had lunch let us use one of their rooms so I could feed the baby and just chill for a moment and the same hotel who gave the kids free ice cream.

We had an excellent time.

It was the first time in about 2 years, where I have felt 100% relaxed, 100% happy. I played with the kids, I laughed, I had fun.  We all had fun.

I loved feeling this glimmer of happiness, and for the first time, I think that maybe I can do this on my own.

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