When I was a child my Mum would play a song called This Ole House by Shakin Stevens. That song is running through my head because today I am no longer a home owner.
Now, regular readers might be expecting a heartfelt post about my former marital home and the memories I leave behind but let me tell you – nope, not going to happen.
It was a crappy house, in a crappy location with even crappier memories and tonight when the kids are in bed I will be having a little drink to celebrate that I no longer own it.
My former husband will be quick to tell you that I picked the house. And I did. As a naive newlywed I picked the house with hope and excitement of the life we were going to build for ourselves.
It was a ‘renovators delight’ and with renovation reality programs being all the rage I was excited about everything we could do to this little house. Turns out you need money to renovate a house – and lots of it and we threw everything we had into just getting the house. You also need time and lots of it, something we also lacked.
It didn’t take long to realise how hard and expensive it was to renovate a house and the feelings of “I wish we had a house where nothing needed to be done and we could relax on a weekend” began to creep into our lives.
The house was also haunted. I swear there was a ghost living there. There were times when I had a feeling that there was a presence around us. I would get a chill every now and then and a sense that someone was around. I always told myself that it was my former husbands step father who passed away a couple of months before our wedding and this was his way of looking out for us. But now, I’m not so sure. I think this spirit was evil, this was when bad things started happening for us. One year, in the space of 2 months we lost a baby during pregnancy, lost our family dog and my former husband lost his job.
The house is also where I have my worst memories. Memories of a failed marriage, of a failed family. For me, I couldn’t stay in a house that we bought with such innocence and hope. The house had lost its shine years before I moved out, the innocence was gone, the hope was gone. It was no longer my safe place, it was no longer home.
So today, I don’t say goodbye to the house I once owned. I say good riddance you piece of crap and celebrate that I am no longer a home owner and now free to move to my new life with the same innocence and excitement I had as a newlywed.
This ole house once knew my children.
This ole house once knew my life.
This ole house was home and comfort
as we lived through storm and strife.
This ole house once rang with laughter.
This ole house heard many shouts.
Now she trembles in the darkness
When the lightning walks about.