My healing has begun and I didn’t even realise it until I was telling someone my story today and there were no tears, no pain and no ache.
I know there will be set backs particularly over the next month with mediation, court and Christmas all coming up but I don’t feel that this time I will drop to the lowest of lows like I have done with other set backs. This time it’s different.
I’ve forgiven him, not for his sake but for mine. Holding onto all that anger was consuming my life, not allowing me to move forward and see that I can do this without him. I thought forgiving him would mean he “wins” but I now see that he didn’t win. He lost. He lost his family. He lost the woman who stood by him through thick and thin, who protected him and his reputation as the devoted husband and father for so long. I feel like the winner. I no longer have that constant knot in my stomach, the never ending worry, the loneliness.
I am free.